Ballerina Floral Maternity Editorial

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When my good friend, Allyssa Bross Larrabee, principal ballerina for the LA Ballet, landed her dream role of Juliet In Romeo and Juliet, I was front and center at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, CA bawling my eyes out. The discipline and determination and incredible talent of her role blew my mind.

Fast forward a few months, a new role emerged that would be her Role of a Lifetime. I asked Alyssa to write some of her thoughts for this shoot and her words are the most perfect love letter. Get your tissues ready.....

THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME

I couldn’t fight back the tears that began to roll down my face as I sat in my directors’ office and told them that I would be leaving this career that I had dreamed about my entire life. Countless hours of training, performances all around the country, and 7 years as Los Angeles Ballet's first ever Principal Dancer has come to an end. There was no final bow on stage or a standing ovation with flowers. A knee injury took me out of the last show of the season before I could bid my farewell to the art that I love so much. Friends, family, supporters, are all wondering how I could possibly give it all up. How could I walk away from something I’ve been doing since I was 3 years old? The answer is you.

The moment I knew you were growing inside me, my entire world changed. For the first 2 months of your life I danced with you to Mozart and Gershwin. You reminded me about the importance of rest, so I would often take naps in between rehearsals to rejuvenate my body as you grew your little limbs. In the middle of learning new choreography I would dream about what you looked like, what your personality would be like, and if you would have your dad’s huge heart for the people around you. Every night I would research what to expect about labor, what I should pack for the hospital, and everything a new parent should know.

Whenever I would prepare for a major role in ballet, I had to put myself through a new level of training for my body, my mind, and my endurance. It never happened over night. It would take weeks of dedication, hard work, and sometimes a couple breakdowns before I really experienced the break through on stage and was able to be free. I’ve never been able to partially put my effort into something I want and love, which is why I have decided to walk away. My passion has changed and my heart has shifted. I am now preparing for a new role and out of all the incredible roles I have had the privilege to dance, this one is by far my biggest dream. I have loved you since the second I knew you existed and I want to prepare myself for you in every way that I can. All the time I devoted to ballet, the countless hours of rehearsals, learning how to care for those around me, disciplining my mind, and being pushed to my physical limits every day, was all to prepare me for thisnext adventure. One day you may ask me if I regret walking away, but I know my answer will always be the same. No career can ever live up to the new role I am taking on. This is the role of a lifetime and I am forever grateful that I get to be your mom.